15 Subtle Things to Thank My Lucky Stars For

"Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn, or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude."  -- Denis Waitley

Life is busy (as is evident by my lack of writing lately...) and I've been feeling weighed down and preoccupied by everything running through my mind.

As I just celebrated my 21st birthday, and Thanksgiving is approaching, I realize that even though I have so many stresses in my life, I have even more reasons to be thankful.

Here are 15 things that I thank my lucky stars for.

1. First and foremost, I am so thankful that I have made it to the age of 21. And, not only that, but I am healthy and thriving. I may not be exactly where I want to be with my body and my self-image, but I am working hard to integrate health, nutrition, and exercise into my everyday life. I am proud of myself for that.

2. I am 21 years old, and I never had a sip of alcohol in my life until I turned 21. Believe me or not, but this is a goal that I have held steadfast for my whole life. I lived up to my own expectations, and I am thankful for my self control and willpower, temptation be damned!


3. I cannot express my gratitude for the ability to attend Portland State University. I love the campus, the city, the liberal feel. I am thankful that I was able to take some time off, and realize my love once again. 

4. In relation to that, I am thankful that I finally know and understand what I want to do with my life, and what path I will take at PSU. After months of stress and contemplation of a major change, and even a transfer of schools, I know that I want to major in Child and Family Studies, with a minor in early elementary education, and Spanish. I plan to get my MA in Education, as well as my teaching license, and I toy around with the idea of being a counselor or even a principal of an elementary school one day.

5. As much as I resent it sometimes, I am thankful for my job. I have room for growth and better benefits than a lot of people my age are able to obtain.

6. This goes without saying, but I am so incredibly grateful for my family! I would never change anything about them. They are my light and my support, and have been for my entire life.



7. I am really lucky to have been able to travel a lot within the most recent years of my life. I've taken lots of trips on the West Coast, including 4 trips down to SoCal, trips up to Seattle, and all the places in between. Even a trip to Hawaii! I just got back from a trip down to Laguna Beach to visit my sister who is working hard at pursuing her dreams. It is such a blessing to be able to financially support occasional trips like that.

8. I am thankful that I am not a starving college student (most of the time.) Tim and I live paycheck to paycheck, but have room to pay our bills and buy groceries each week, with a little room to save.

9. I am thankful that I am health insured! In fact, the flu shot I got a couple weeks ago was completely covered. It is a blessing to not have to worry about something so necessary.

10. I love this time of year! I am thankful for the weather -- all the colors are so refreshing.

11. I am thankful for the little things. Honestly, they are the things that motivate me and excite me. Coming home to a hug from my fiance, or having a cup of hot chocolate while I do my homework are some of the best parts of my day.

12. I got really lucky with  my soon to be mother-in-law. Seriously, guys, she is awesome. I am so thankful to have her in my life. I love talking with her and getting to know her. She raised the man of my dreams, and I owe her so much for that.

13. I am thankful for my bridesmaids. These 5 girls are such a strong source of support, and they are true friends. I've finally got it figured out now!

14. This goes without saying, but I am more thankful than I can express for my fiance. He truly loves me for who I am, as cliche as it sounds. He supports all my dreams and understands my idiosyncrasies. He is my best friend, and the best person I could have ever asked to share my life with.

15. In an attempt to not be self-deprecating, I am making an effort to be thankful for myself. The triumphs in my life only happen because I achieve them. I am living for me.

Oh, and to all of you actually reached the end of this very long and sappy post, I am also thankful for you! 

Surrendering the Subtle Things

Sometimes, you have to waive that white flag. Throw in the towel. Quit.

That's right, I said it. Sometimes you have to quit.

Growing up, we are told to stick things through. Don't give up. Never say never. Quitting is bad.

But, if quitting means that you'll be better in the long run, what is so bad about it?

I mean sure, if you are part of a team, and by quitting you put them in a hard spot, that can be "bad". When other people have to suffer, quitting isn't always the best option. When it comes to things that effect others, then your decision needs to be heavily considered.

I think that sometimes we have to quit, because we have to let go of the things are no longer doing us any good. We are only human, and not everything we are doing, or trying to hold together are going to be continuously beneficial.

Sometimes, it's sad. Or frustrating. Or confusing. Or whole lot of mixed emotions that are really  hard to pinpoint. But, that's okay. It's okay to feel this way now, because a few days, weeks, months, or maybe even years down the road, you are going to feel relieved instead.

Sometimes, you just have to do what's best for yourself.

In high school when guard got tough because we got a shitty coach, I didn't quit, and despite how badly I wanted to walk away when his cigarette breath and body odor were screaming into my face when we had a particularly bad run, I didn't for the sake of my team.
For the sake of my pride. For the sake if knowing that I could tough it out.

When things get rough between Tim and I, we don't quit, we communicate and express what's frustrating us. I'd never quit on him.

There are a few things I've quit though: I quit dancing without thinking. I needed a break from school and dropped all my classes in the middle of winter term last year, which caused me a plethora of financial aide problems. I recently just cut one of my closest friends from my life.

Quitting all those things, sooner or later, has caused me a great deal of grief.

But the beauty about quitting is that it provides me the opportunity to have a fresh start, whenever I desire. Or, I can take my time off and pick up exactly where I left off.

I am back into school, and the level of appreciation is so much higher. I cannot wait to see how happy I will be when I am reunited with dance, or if I rekindle my broken friendship.



“Quitting is not giving up, it's choosing to focus your attention on something more important. Quitting is not losing confidence, it's realizing that there are more valuable ways you can spend your time. Quitting is not making excuses, it's learning to be more productive, efficient and effective instead. Quitting is letting go of things (or people) that are sucking the life out of you so you can do more things that will bring you strength.”
---- Osayi Osar-Emokpae