A Subtle Distaste for Valentine's Day

I have always been a hopeless romantic. Like, the "happily ever after", sappy and cheesy, holding outrageously high expectations, uber self-sacrificing type. Which should tell you about how I feel about Valentine's Day.

I love Valentine's Day. I remember writing poems and hand making valentines to give to the people I loved. I still write novels inside people's holiday cards, and am, at times, obnoxiously more outspoken, poetic and long winded in my writing. 

I would day dream and write in my diaries about wanting the boys I had romantic feelings for to shower me in the typical materialistic cliches; flowers (which I still love, but prefer potted and still growing), chocolate (which I also still love, but appreciate fair-trade, high quality dark chocolate more than boxes of Hershey's), teddy bears and "romantic" trips to the local Regal Cinemas to watch rom-coms and awkwardly hold hands in the dark. 

It pains me to say that my favorite movies were (and sometimes still are) romance movies. The trite, hetero-normative and sexist films that depict a woman on the search for her one true love, as if it is her life's purpose. I still have many well loved Sarah Dessen and Nicolas Sparks novels on my bookshelves. 

It's not surprising, then, to hear that in my young life, I was often left disappointed with my relationships. Who can truly live up to these unrealistic ideals on love and affection?

And while these interests are stereotypical or cliche, they are really representative of a young, naive girl, hopeful that one day she would find someone that made her feel like society told her she should. 

Fast forward six years post high school. Six beautiful years spent in love. Six years spent changing and growing and educating myself. Six years, with my best friend by my side, regardless of the difficulty. Six years, where I did not feel the love that society told me I should feel. 

It's been even better than that. 

I've felt a love that didn't pretend. 

A love that struggled. A love that grew.
A love with matrimonial cold feet, despite how much I wanted that union. 

A love that fostered independent growth and progress.

A love that made sacrifices.
A love riddled with personal insecurities. 

A love that wasn't dependent on materialism or holidays to show its truth. 

A love that I am so confident in. 

I no longer love Valentine's Day like I used to. I love it differently. I still fight the urge to celebrate according to the way the holiday is marketed, but over the years I've let go of the sparkly-fairy tale-materialistic desires created by corporate benefit. I've embraced the idea of loving all year, and celebrating privately and in ways that vary from the norm. 

So this year, we did something incredibly unique to us! In past years, we would go out to eat at places that weren't that great, or the food was far too indulgent and left us feeling ill. We'd watch a movie and do other lackluster things that weren't conducive to a deep connection.

This year, we decided to forgo gifts, and take a hike instead. We wanted to do something active, exploratory, fun and that didn't cost a lot of money. Something that made us feel good, and feel connect to ourselves, each other, and the world around us. 

Ergo, we hiked out to Wahclella Falls in the Gorge! We always feel so connected when we travel and explore the world around us. Wahclella Falls was a short but always beautiful hike, even in the rain. Everything is a beautiful shade of green, and everyone you meet on the trail is so kind.

I would still consider myself a hopeless romantic. I'm just not hopelessly dependent on the idea that love true never hurts, or struggles, or thinking that taking one day to shower your partner in lavish gifts, without truly connecting, is the best way to show your love. 

Tim and I have hurt each other. We have cried together. We have struggled. And I still love him more unconditionally than I ever could have imagined. 

Happy (super belated) Valentine's Day to everyone. Love yourself, your partner, and the world around you. 

Subtle Things & Unexpected Creativity

I haven't blogged in sometime, considering how busy I have been with school and home. But, for once, I feel like I am in complete control, feeling confident in my abilities, and I'm not so overwhelmed by it all. I actually really enjoy what I am learning, and I'm excited to be so close to teaching my own students. 

I'm hoping to get back into a regular routine of writing and blogging, especially about my teaching experiences. But, I thought I would share a tiny fraction of the things I have been working on. I had to write a reflection for my Math Curriculum and Instruction class, and the prompt was "if math were a breakfast cereal, what would it be?" I was inspired, and wrote a goofy poem as my response. 

As you can tell by my tone, math is not my favorite subject, and I am actually really anxious to teach it to students, because I know many of them feel the same way I do. But, this activity was surprisingly really fun for me, and I hope I can inject similar fun feelings into the curriculum I teach. 

Enjoy my ridiculous poem! 

Cheerios

If math were a breakfast cereal, it would be

a box of Cheerios, eaten hesitantly. 

The box is full, the cereal is bare, 

it's uses are plenty, applications fair, 

but students often feel that while it may be healthy, 

eating Cheerio's is boring, and hard to eat enjoyably. 

The shape and size is consistent, we know. 

But, where's the fun? No color, no glow. 

Whole grain, low in sugar, 

but also lacking in excitement and fervor. 

Like eating Cheerios, math can be lackluster, 

so it takes a talented teacher who can muster 

the courage and understanding to make math fun

while showing that it can be beneficial to everyone

to challenge the thinker and expand the mind,

to solve problems that aren't like in their kind.

No matter your age, no matter your level

Cheerios, like math, are actually special

because the skills you learn and the vitamins you gain

can do no harm in nourishing your brain. 

Students will see that while Cheerios are average, 

the math concepts they learn will give them an advantage. 

While math and Cheerios share similarities, 

both are nutritional, good for your self esteems. 

One has fiber and helps your body grow strong, 

the other is challenging, and fruitful lifelong.