Subtle Things & The USA

You know, lately, I really dislike being an American. 

Yes, yes, I know. I have heard and studied about American History. I know what we have gone through as a country to earn our name, our essence. I admire and believe in everything that America stands for:  freedom of speech, human/race/gender/orientation equality, living without fear of religious oppression... But we are all talk!

We claim to be all of the above. We are equal... but if you are gay, you can't marry who you love, which results in the denial of hundreds of human rights. We support women's suffrage, but, not only will you make $.75 to the man's dollar, but you women must also leave your body up to the government's discretion.

It makes me sick that congressional hearings on birth control can occur without the participation or involvement of women. It makes me sick that our country thinks that it is constitutional to deny rights to any human being, regardless of sexual orientation. It makes me sick that in a country that originated due to a desire for religious freedom, we base most of it's laws on, primarily, one religion. We speak highly of a separation of church and state -- but we are still "One Nation, Under God". (Please don't get me wrong. This is not an argument against religion. I fully support anyone's right to practice any religion they choose, as long as it doesn't compromise the freedom or safety of any other person.)

We will not be what we claim to be, until these things change. 

I hate living in a country where appearance and beauty are more revered than intelligence and compassion. Every time I see a cover of a gossip magazine, this is only exemplified. Anytime any female celebrity takes an unflattering photograph, it's the front page news. Really, who cares if (insert celebrity here) gained a few pounds?

I hate knowing that the cast of Jersey Shore makes more money than teachers. The financial distribution in this country is bananas. (I am not saying that the destructive and endangering actions of the Occupy movement are justifiable, however.) I understand that idiots make for good entertainment, but do they really deserve to make millions of dollars a year, when there are hard-working, educated people who struggle trying to make ends meet?

I hate that the people who are able to contribute to causes, don't. Instead, they own multiple cars, pay mortgages on million-dollar-thirteen-bedroom mansions to house their 4 person family, and look down on those less fortunate. I recently read an article where a wealthy business man dined at restaurant, spent over $100 on the meal, and left a 1% tip, along with a nasty piece of advice. Another photo shows a non-existent tip, and some even nastier advice.  I'd like to think that these disgusting people took that tip money and put it towards something beneficial to their community, or used it to buy food to donate - but we know that isn't the case.

Please know that this is not my pledge of anarchy. No, I am not going to burn the American flag, or move to Canada. (However, if they ban the use of tampons like they have been discussing...) I am just very upset with my country right now. I can't wait for the US to become what they claim to already be.

We will not be free until any human has the right to marry whomever they want to. 
We will not be equal until there are no financial discriminations against women, and until the government removes itself from the woman's vagina, and furthermore, her personal business. 
We will not be free from religious oppression until Biblical statements are no longer used to define laws and rights in this country.  

Subtle Things & A Year in Review

Other than my previous post, it really has been a year since I've last written. A whole lot has changed!

I had last written on my first anniversary with Tim. Well, obviously we have celebrated another anniversary! But we've gone through many milestones in our relationship as well. Since my last post, we've gotten another cat, taken road trips up to Hood River and Seattle to see his family, moved into a new apartment complex, gone on a trip with my whole family and our best friend Meghan to Disneyland, Tim started school at Portland State in the fall, and we've since celebrated our 20th birthdays, respectively. And those are only the things that I think of off the top of my head!

Yes, we got a second kitten as a Valentine's Day gift last year. Her name is Lola, and she is a grey tabby cat. She is curious and gentle. She likes get herself into small spaces, and likes to fall asleep in our clean laundry. I absolutely love her!

During my Spring Break, Tim and I took a trip up to Hood River to see his family and his hometown. I got to see his father's headstone, and the house he lived in, and other memorable places and spaces. It really  made me feel more connected to him, to learn more about his history. It was a great trip!

We moved from our old place in June -- and we love our new home! I don't have any pictures I can post yet, but I can assure you that it is miles above our old place. All painted brown walls, a huge bathroom with a roman tub, built in bookshelves. The community is wonderful, and best of all, NO MOLD!

Perhaps the most exciting part of our year was our trip to Disneyland in July. We went for a week, stayed in a rental home with my family and had a blast! I loved seeing us all channel our inner children. We had so much fun, often to the point of sickness (Meghan, Tim and I all got sick on the trip -- I blame it on the heat.) I had SUCH a great time with my little brothers. I really love Disneyland. I love taking my time and experiencing the atmosphere. I love walking with Tim, hand in hand and watching the fireworks, and listening to the happiness that exudes from every square inch of that magical place. We really hope that we can go back soon.

Like I said earlier, Tim and I are students at Portland State University. He is interested Psychology, Anthropology and the human brain. I am currently a Child and Family Studies major, but I am thinking about changing it. I am really interested in sexualities and health studies/nutrition. I am also considering transferring to an online degree program. I strongly dislike commuting to class, and I want a little more flexibility in my schedule so that I can work more and save up for a wedding and everything that comes after. I just know that I really want to work with young children, but I don't really know more than that. I am going to take the summer to really analyze what I want to do before I make any big decisions. I do know, however, that I am going to make this decision based on what I think is best for myself. Not on what anyone else says.

That's all I have for now! I'll try and blog on a regular basis.

Subtle Things & A Long Overdue Return

It still baffles me how so much time can pass, without a conscious acknowledgement of it.  This last year has been the best, and worst year of my life, but I am going to focus my long overdue return to writing on a similar sentiment to my last post-- my fiance, and the love of my life.

That's right, after two memorable years, Tim and I are ENGAGED, and we could not be happier.

For those who know me well, you already know that I am a sucker for weddings. And even more than the idea of a wedding itself, I am a sucker for long-enduring, ever-lasting, hopeless, passionate and mad love.
I would like to assure you all, that I did not settle for less than what I wanted. He is everything, and has every quality that I hold steadfast. He is honest, sincere, hard working, loyal, hilarious and before I had any idea that I would ever date, let alone marry him, Tim was already there, waiting in the wings. He has been a close friend of mine since seventh grade. He loves my family, and they love him back. He become a brother to my siblings long before our engagement. He is so easy to talk to, easy to have fun with, easy to work with, easy to spend time with. We know everything about each other, in fact, we can't keep secrets from each other. On Valentine's Day, we went shopping together for gifts, we didn't even make it to Christmas when sharing our gifts with each other, and he couldn't wait to tell me that he had put an engagement ring on layaway.

Tim and I have been through a lot together: among the hectic times of adolescence and puberty, middle school and high school, we have gone through some incredibly beautiful and devastating life experiences. These experiences probably don't even compare to what will happen throughout our  marriage, but I am so thankful to have my absolute best friend be the person by my side during those times.

It is so comforting to know that I have someone in my life, who will stand by every decision or mistake that I make, and will love me regardless. The feeling of selfless, non-shallow love, is something that I never even dreamed would feel so wonderful. This last year has been one of growth, and development of my individuality, and he consistently supports my choices, despite how it may affect our future. I am so grateful for his faith. 

Here are a few engagement photos we took when we visited his family in Seattle a couple weeks ago.
(Photo Credit: http://kararuephotography.zenfolio.com/)

Nothing is concrete about the wedding yet, but we are planning for it to be in July of 2013! :) I will post new pictures, updates about the wedding and our lives in the upcoming months. I hope to post more writing soon!

Subtle Things & The Love of My Life

On January 6th, 2010, I started dating this one kid. 

And today, we celebrated our first anniversary.

We decided to sleep in, and have a completely relaxing day. We got out of bed at noon, made a pizza and just talked and enjoyed our time together that wasn't otherwise occupied by work or school. Then we get dressed, and walked around Washington Square. We bought him a Mariner's beanie, I got some jewelry from Icing (which is where we purchased a promise ring for me!) and some undies from Victoria's Secret. After dinner, and fro-yo we headed home, and now we are laying in bed, eating Dove chocolate and watching Juno. 

My promise ring was something we came across by chance. I was looking through the clearance and found a double banded ring that says "endless love", in a script on the bottom band. After showing him, he encouraged me to buy it, and we determined that it would be a promise ring. 

This is only the beginning. I realize more and more everyday that I will never find someone else on this planet more fit to my personality and personal interests than he is. He deals with my crazy anxieties, and encourages me to be the best I can be. 

I love you, Tim. Here is to many, many more years of amazing-ness. 

Subtle Things & The Holiday Season

In one word, this month has been crazy. 
However, let me clarify, that "crazy" has both good and bad viewpoints!


Working in the retail industry is literally insane during the holidays. Einstein described insanity to be "the belief that one can get different results by doing the same thing." Everyday, I go to work, and I expect it to be a completely different atmosphere. "Maybe today won't be busy at all! After all, it is a Sunday night." But, alas, I am proven wrong, and therefore insane. Everyday was just as busy as the last, and the only thing that changed was the patience of the customers. I am so thankful that aspect of the holiday season is over!


School ended after a long three months of class, and with great results! I got straight A's in my classes, and flew through my exams. What did I learn? To never, ever procrastinate again. Next term, I am taking Hip-Hop, Psychology as a Natural Science, Spanish 102, and my Freshman Inquiry class. 1 more credit, but a whole lot more enjoyable. 


Christmas was wonderful with my family. I was able to spend Christmas morning with my siblings and see their smiling faces, and I was gifted wonderfully! My favorite gift? Either "Just Dance 2" for the Wii, or new silverware! Tim and I were completely spoiled. I am sad to see Christmas go, and to have to take down my first Christmas tree in my new home, and despite my discontent with retail in general, I will be really sad to see my hours dwindle after the new year. 


This month has also been a crazy one for my friends! Some wonderful as well as some terrible things are stirring in the lives of my friends, and I only wish them the best. A close friend of mine is going through her parent's divorce, and some disdain in her routine. Another couple of friends is engaged! And although there have been some miscommunication, arguments, and confusion, I really do hope that they are happy and that we can work everything out. Many friends are home from out of state schools, and others are preparing to move out! So many life changes, in such a short amount of time. I cannot believe it's almost 2011, and that I've already completed my first term of college. 


I am so ready for the new year. I need a fresh start, and a drastic change. This time next year, I will be the person I've always wanted to be, and hopefully will have been so for a couple months. I need to be healthier: mentally, physically, and socially.  And most of all, I need to be happier. 

Merry Christmas, and if I don't post again this week, have a wonderful start to the New Year! :)

Subtle Things & Overwhelming Love

Today, I was so full of love - I don't know what it was, but I just felt so much for everything in my life. 

I realized how appreciative I am of my family today - with it being close to Christmas, it's a financially difficult time for many, and they are always willing to help us out. Whether it be donating their used pop cans to us to return for bottle deposits, or buying me tampons when I ran out, my family is always available to assist us when we need it. My brothers give me so much joy; I babysat them last night while my parents went to my oldest brother's school play (which he did a great job in, by the way) and they enchanted me with their personalities and funny comments. My sister is so talented, and I am still awestruck by her work as well as her demeanor. She's so calm and confident; I admire it. This photo is from Christmas last year when we all got our traditional PJs. 

Lately, I've been realizing how much I love my boyfriend. We are both always so busy, and as expected, I miss him all the time. I know that I'm never going to want to be with anyone else. He's patient, loyal, loving, and he's my best friend and I could never ask for anything better.

Finally, I've become a crazy cat lady, and I really adore my kitty. She's my favorite to nap with! :)

Subtle Things & Spontaneous Kittens

SURPRISE! Tim and I adopted a kitten yesterday. :) Her name is Sam, and she is a Bombei kitten, three months old.

We went to the Bonnie L. Hays Small Animal Shelter too look around, since we were planning on adopting a puppy. But we went into the cat room, and couldn't leave without this little one. We determined that because a cat is more selfsufficiant, it would be a more appropriate pet choice to fit our always-on-the-go lifestyle.

For those looking to adopt, I highly recommend this shelter. All the animals are well taken care of, particularly the cats, and it's a fairly easy process. All animals are spayed or nuetered and updated with shots and de-worming. It's really a great price too! Kittens are $80, cats over the one year old are only $10, and dogs are $150.

We love her! :D